Attachments & The Cycle of Misery

Your stress never comes from your job, your partner, or your bank balance. Reread this.
It comes from the fact that you are secretly afraid to lose them.
If that hit hard, let’s talk about Attachments.

How attachment shows up at work

1. Attached to your title. 

A new org structure removes the word “Head” from your role. Same work. Same impact. Yet you feel smaller and disrespected.

2. Attached to a project. 

You gave months of your life to it. Leadership kills it in one slide. You don’t just feel disappointed. You feel personally rejected.

3. Attached to your image. 

“I am the reliable one.” One delay happens. Instead of fixing it, you spiral into shame.

In all three cases, the pain isn’t the event. 
It’s the attachment to how things must be.

The Misery Cycle 

Attachment → Expectation → Fear → Control → Unhappiness.

The Mindset Shift To Break The Cycle Of Misery

Letting go doesn’t mean you stop feeling. 
It means shifting your focus.

From: “I am only okay if this stays exactly as it is.” 
To: “This matters to me. But my effort and response are mine. They stay with me.”

How to practice:

1. Name it
“I am attached to this title.”

2. Add ‘for now’
“I have this role for now.” “This relationship looks like this for now.” (This introduces healthy distance).

3. Come back to what is yours. 
Ask: “What is in my control?” How I speak. How I respond. How I show up.

I am not writing this from a mountaintop. 
I still get attached to versions of myself that no longer exist. 

But the pattern is always the same:
The more I cling, the more I suffer. The more I loosen my grip, the more options I see.

Your Sunday question: 
What attachment is quietly making you unhappy right now? And what would change if, just for today, you held it a little lighter?