We all live with a double standard. Excuse vs Judgment.
When I mess up, I say:
“I was tired.”
“I had too much on my plate.”
When someone else messes up, I say:
“They’re careless.”
“They don’t respect deadlines.”
Psychologists call this the Fundamental Attribution Error.
Marcus Aurelius said it simpler 2,000 years ago:
“When you get angry at someone’s mistake, first remember your own failings.”
Different language. Same truth.
We cut ourselves slack but judge others harshly.
What if we flipped it?
- Give others the same grace we give ourselves.
- Judge their situation, not just their actions.
- Forgive more. Label less.
In workplaces, this shift is powerful:
- People stop hiding mistakes.
- Meetings shift from blame to problem-solving.
- Trust grows.
Here’s the challenge:
This week, when someone frustrates you, pause.
Ask: “If I did this, what excuse would I give myself?”
Then offer them the same slack.
Grace is contagious. Start with one person.
Question for you:
Have you caught yourself falling into this double standard recently?