Leadership BS: What No One Has the Guts to Say

You’ve read the books.
Quoted “Radical Candor.”
Posted about empathy and servant leadership.

But here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud:
Most of it is BS if you can’t lead yourself.

I’ve led teams for 20+ years.
The hardest one to lead? Me.
And that’s true for most leaders. They just won’t admit it.

We talk about honesty, transparency, and growth.
We preach self-awareness and feedback.
But?
We’re just managing our own emotional discomfort and calling it leadership.

Two lies we keep selling ourselves:

1. “I care about my people.”

No! You care about being seen as someone who cares.
That’s why you rescue instead of hold accountable.
The reason why you call emotional avoidance “empathy.”

That’s not leadership; that’s emotional self-image management.

2. “I hold myself accountable.”

Really?
Then why are you still avoiding hard conversations?
Still micromanaging?
Still addicted to control?

That’s not ownership. That’s control-freak BS.

You skip giving tough feedback and call it compassion.
You call out underperformance only after it hits the team’s KPIs.
That’s not leadership. That’s fear in a suit.

You don’t need another playbook.
You need to get honest.
Hold a mirror.
And the guts to call your own bluff.

Here’s the test:
Can you let someone fail, walk away guilt-free, and still sleep soundly like a true leader?
If not, you’re still leading from fear.
And fear-driven leadership? Is the biggest BS of all.

Brutal but necessary:
– Before you coach others, coach your own mess.
– Before you “care personally”, cut the emotional BS.
– Before you claim discipline, show it when no one’s watching.

Leadership isn’t a title.
It’s a mirror.
Stop performing it. Start living it.

Been there? Still there? What helped you break the pattern?