The Two-Handle Tool. Push or Pull?

Ever pull a door that says “Push”?
We’ve all done it. Not because we’re dumb.
Because we grabbed it without thinking.
Life’s problems are like that, too.

Every problem has two handles.
One is reactive: blame, control, rescue.
The other is proactive: learn, lead, let go.
The handle you choose determines what happens next.

The Two-Handle Tool

This isn’t just philosophy.
It’s a practical mindset shift. A decision filter.
Whenever you feel stuck or frustrated, ask:
Which handle am I holding?
Is it helping me lift or keeping me stuck smarter?

Real-Life Example: “My team lacks ownership.”

You’re a leader. You’re overwhelmed doing everything.
Your inner voice says: “I’m exhausted. My team just doesn’t get it.”

Let’s apply the tool:

1. Spot the Handle You’re Using

🔻 Current Handle:
“They never take ownership, so I have to step in.”
Coping better but solving nothing.

🔹 Switch Handle:
“What if I have trained them to depend on me by not giving clear ownership or trust?”

2. Reframe the Pattern

Old Handle → Control → Over-involve → Burnout
New Handle → Coach → Delegate Outcomes → Step Back
Same problem. Different grip. New outcome.

3. Audit the Cost of the Wrong Handle

– 10+ hours/week redoing work
– Emotional drain and hidden resentment
– Zero team growth → Long-term stagnation
Wrong handle = expensive habit.

4. Apply the Better Handle

Start small.
– Assign 1 project with full ownership
– Set clear expectations & let go
– Coach, don’t rescue
– Debrief: “What worked? What didn’t? What handle did we use?”

Both handles teach you something. 
But only one creates change. 

Stop mastering the wrong one. 
Choose the one that forces growth.