Revenge Feeds the Ego. Closure Frees the Mind.
We have all felt it.
That slow burn when someone wrongs you.
Colleague twists facts to steal credit.
Manager humiliates you publicly.
Friend disappears after using your help.
Family member mocks your choices.
And your first thought is always
“I’ll show them.”
It feels fair. It feels strong.
But it’s a trap.
Here’s What Happens
Revenge gives your ego a sugar rush.
But soon, the crash hits:
Sleepless nights, overthinking, tight chest, short temper.
You replay their words. You rehearse imaginary comebacks.
They stop thinking about you… but you keep thinking about them.
That’s how revenge works.
It keeps the wound open, long after the battle is over.
I have been there
- At work, when someone took credit for my implementation plan, I spent days planning how to expose them. But when I focused on doing better work instead, their lie faded faster than my anger.
- In a close relationship, I wanted an apology that never came. Waiting for it kept me stuck. The day I stopped expecting it, peace returned.
- Even online, I once typed an angry reply to a cheap comment. Deleted it. Walked away. Ten minutes later, I still maintained my calm and responded more effectively. That’s closure too.
How to Break the Revenge Loop And Not Feed The Ego
- When the thought “I’ll show them” hits, take a breath.
- Say to yourself, “This is my ego seeking control.”
- Write down what happened and what you are done carrying. Seek closure, not approval.
- Ask, “What can I learn or do better next time?”
- Go work out, read, build, walk, anything that feeds growth, not anger.
- “Do I want peace or payback?”
- If it’s payback, wait; if it’s peace, act.
Revenge feels powerful for a moment.
Closure feels peaceful for a lifetime.
One drains your energy.
The other restores your dignity.
So the next time someone hurts you
Don’t try to get even.
Try to get free.
At IntuiWell, we teach this kind of practical emotional growth, not with quotes or theories, but with step-by-step tools to handle real moments like anger, guilt, or disappointment.
Because emotional strength is built when you choose peace over payback.