Stop Reading Self-Help. Start Mapping Your Loops.
Why adding more “good habits” is making your anxiety worse, and what to do instead.
You don’t need another self-help book.
You need to ask why the last ten did not change you.
On paper, you are doing everything “right”:
✅ Sleep tracker
✅ Supplements
✅ Morning routine
✅ Books on habits, stoicism, and “mental toughness”
But your chest is still tight at 2:00 AM.
You still feel like one bad week will break everything.
This is not a lack of discipline. This is a pattern.
High performers have a unique defence mechanism: Intellectualisation.
You do not sit with your feelings. You research them.
- Stress at work? You buy another productivity book.
- Loneliness? You listen to a podcast about “high-value people.”
- Exhaustion? You optimise your diet and workout.
The self-help industry keeps growing.
Burnout and anxiety numbers keep climbing with it.
Why?
Because most self-help gives you fragments:
- Ideas without awareness.
- Motivation without emotional skill.
- Habits without systems.
You end up highly optimised on the outside, and quietly empty on the inside.
In my work at IntuiWell, I see this loop again and again:
Crisis → Spike in anxiety → New book/planner → Short-term relief → Back to the start.
What actually works looks different:
- Map your loops (Awareness)
- Build skills (To stay composed when it hurts)
- Design systems (So change sticks when motivation drops)
Does the “researching your feelings” trap sound familiar to you? DM me.